Fun With Newsphotos Faithful Land's End customer, Gov. Mitt Romney (R-Mass) comes out strongly against Gay Marriage, and announces he will fight the homosexual cabal with a fashion runway smackdown in Provincetown over the July 4th Weekend. "I'll use my rugged handsomeness to make them all my bitches", Romney declared. President George Bush asks 'muricans how they possibly could not trust a man with such a sincere and unforced smile? Chair from contributor Chet in Hartford; computer monitor from contributor Dave in Danbury; v-neck from contributor Marlene in Norwalk; table from contributors Phil & Wilma of Waterbury; stuffed animals from Cheyenne, five-year old daughter of contributor Luke in Bristol; haircut by contributor Rolf from Bridgeport; shirt from contributor Mark from Middletown; hubris self-made. Plan to speak before military personnel so I can get a black person in the audience successful. Add that woman to the "compassion" page at Bush/Cheney2004.com. Ralph Nader states at a press conference that he is running for President to make up for the charisma deficit existing between the two major party candidates. Look, don't blame me, I just repeat whatever lousy crap the Administration tells me. How should I know Shakir is Arabic for "Johnson"? Attorney General John Ashcroft and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist displayed for the press their "Operation Tit-for-Cat" to match Islamofascist beheadings. Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao graphically illustrates the Bush Administration's latest plan on outsourcing.