Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Bush administration to release new numbers on Terrorist Deaths Warning the post below is parody. Any similarities to people living, dead, or living dead are purely the conjecture of an overly fertile maladjusted imagination. But is it really so far fetched? "I knew that we were a'winning!" The Bush administration is set to release a new report on terrorismin which they will report that the actual number of deaths caused by terrorism is lower than first reported. Revisions to the April Patterns of Global Terrorism that had previously embarassed the administration, "now looks quite rosy" according to a Bush spokesman. "We are winning the war against terrorism." When asked by reporters how the previous report could have made such a mistake in the actual numbers of terrorist deaths, the spokesman stated that: "Democrats involved in compiling the report counted all actual deaths that might possibly be attributed to any bomb or gun violence. Just because someone was killed in a bomb blast or from a non-self inflicted gun shot wound does not mean that they were done in by terrorists." When John Kerry was asked his reaction to this new report, he was unable to answer because he was incapacitated because he was laughing too hard.
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