Deleted sections of the new Bush Administration Memo We here at the Rising Hegemon have received a full copy of the Bush administration memo that justified torture in Iraq and elsewhere. Here is a list of the other actions now justified and supported by the Bush Administration:

• Now its OK for Jay Leno to not be funny
• Non-injury contact includes broken bones
• All lady justices will wear bras
• Water boarding is just good old fashioned fun like surfing
• The word American now officially to be pronounced 'Merican
• Strategery made an official word and will be used by all administration personel
• Lying about WMDs is part of established foreign policy
• Choking on a pretzel is now to be known as "Chewing disease"
• Prayer meetings will occur before reading any new poll numbers
• Soldiers will now be called liberators for political freedom
• French Onion Soup now to be called Freedom from oppression Soup
• Slingshots and rock throwing now to be considered WMDs
• All investigative journalists must follow the Washington Times script
• Sun Myung Moon now recognized as the Crowned Savior

We promise to provide you faithful readers with the very best investigative journalism that the great Washington Times scripts make possible.