Saturday, June 26, 2004

Nader to court any Supporters In a press conference held in an undisclosed location today after learning that the Green Party would not support him, Ralph Nader stated that he is willing to court any supporter who would consider assisting his campaign and voting for him. "While I have been a public advocate for years, I am willing to consider any constituency that will support me for president." As an example of how far he would be willing to go to gratify his ego, Nader mentioned that he is willing to consider support from major corporations, the wealthy, silly people, "Hell, I'd even consider support from Saddam Hussein if he had pull with the American electorate." Nader whined that "while in the past I have cited the need to make a change in American politics, now I want to be absolutely clear that what I want is to win. Fuck the other guys." To demonstrate how badly he wants to win above all else Nader said that "I don't care how bad the Chimpy McFlightsuit is or what damage he may do to American democracy, whatever it takes for me to win is what I want." In a press release immediately following the press conference, Karl Rove, the leader of the white house ministry of truth, stated that he leads a group of backers who would be willing to support Nader's candidacy. "He's just what we need," Rove stated in the release. "Thank God, just in time."
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