Friday, June 25, 2004

A letter from Mr. Whiskers Dear Governor Arnold Schawartzenaggar, California Statehouse My name is Mr. Whiskers and I am asking you for clemency. Forgive my grammar but you see I am one of the Kitties on Pet Death Row at an Animal Detention Center. I am writing to you to see if you would be willing to change your policy on the waiting period for adoption. I use to have a nice home, soft bed, scratching post, and plenty of meow mix and then my "family" moved without me. The bastards. I even forgave them for the awful surgery. I wonder how the man would have reacted if they had removed his bits!! And though obviously I'd be very pleased to just be allowed to live, as opposed to being dissected by Ms. Wilson's 7th grade bio class, if you could also look into helping me find my NADS it would really be great. Anyhoo, I went out to look around the yard and the next thing I know they are gone. I walked for weeks. Forget what you see in those commercials when your humans leave you, there are no friendly folks along the road to buy you food or collars or give you rides in a cool Harley. I did nothing wrong except maybe take a quick one on the carpet once in a while or scratch the sofa. Hey, I'm a cat, it's in my nature. Anyway, I was hoping that you would reinstate the longer waiting period and pardon me and my friends. I know my friends and I would really appreciate it. We are willing to give living with humans another chance, why don't you give us a chance? Hey we never started a meaningless war anywhere, unless you've heard about that pigeon thing, but oh never mind. Plus, if you pardon me and my friends Mikey the bird, Hampton hamster, Michelangelo pig, Bunny rabbit, and tom turtle -- we all promise to vote for your Chimp friend George in the next election. Its a pretty good deal, think about it. Thanks, your friend Mr. Whiskers.
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