Friday, June 25, 2004

Don't be so Hard on your Dick In this world it is sometimes difficult to get off of a repeated talking point. For example, the Vice-President has had some difficulty adapting to the circumstances of "WMD" or "Atta in Prague", giving the same old story he's been giving over and over for years, even after it has been disproven. What is less known to many of us is that Dick is the man many conservatives talk to get advice advice about the arts of lovin'. And to be fair, Dick is obviously a pretty fair lover. I mean he managed to turn a lesbian away from the path she was going and into a prim straight-laced type. And when his country called him for duty, Dick didn't answer the call by shooting blanks, nope, he shot, he scored!. Dick is even so talented, that despite the administration's record against homosexual rights to the most basic of societal recognitions, he can still get a lesbian to work for him. So obviously, though outwardly he seems a rather stiff, mumbly old bag o'puss, staying alive through the miracle of direct current, Dick one-on-one is simply "Captain Happy Pants", a man of even greater powers than...the Clenis. So naturally, right-wingers talk to the guy and yesterday he had a meeting with a few of them looking for advice on their sex lives. And below is the advice given to each one, and I think you'd agree, it is the same advice we'd probably give to each and every one of them, repeatedly: "Go Fuck Yourself" "Go Fuck Yourself" "Go Fuck Yourself" "Go Fuck Yourself" Now these meetings all took place just moments before the Senate photoshoot, and with Dick's inability to multitask, well, I think you can see how the misunderstanding came about. So once again, if you don't want your Cheney to swear, leave your Dick alone.
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