Saturday, June 26, 2004

The Governator Responds From da desk of da Governator Dear Mr. Vhiskers, I have your letter requesting clemency. My wife Maria was happy to read it to me. It has me thinking, about why I changed da waiting period. Dat is not like me and if I am not me, who da hell am I? I must have thought dat if it bleeds, we can kill it. Da change in policy has nothing to do with increasing da territory of da great state of California. But you know how people vill talk. So, I have been busy here at da statehouse working on my time traveling machine so dat I can go back in time and stop me before I issued da new policy on da waiting period for adoption. I vill have to terminate him. Coincidentally, I vill also have to stop him before he gropes, I mean massages all those young vomen. Hmmmm... Ah, sorry I lost my train of hormones. I am reformed gropenator now! Its true, I svear. I did not have sexual groping vith those vomen! Apparently the animal huggers are all in an uproar over my latest political prohblem. I am sure dat group is not linked to da gay movement where I have many friends and supporters. Luckily I have da technology from my terminator movies and vill be erasing dis problem. I vill be back. However, should something go wrong with da machine, I have left a signed pardon for you and your friends. I deeply ahpreciate your willingness to vote for my very close personal friend president Chimpy. I'm not into politics, I'm into survival. Remeber dat what is best in life: crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of da women! Hasta la vista, baby Governator Arhnold Schwarzenegger
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