Monday, June 07, 2004

Bush Campaign Upset over Timing As reported today, the Bush campaign is said to be upset over the timing of the death of former president Reagan. "We had this all set up in advance, what happened?" exclaimed Mr. Preznit. He continued: "I thought I could count on him. I mean, how much pressure can I put on Scalia and Thomas!" Information has come to light that the Bush campaign had planned to use the ex-president's passing as a last minute surge for their sagging and directionless campaign. Karl Rove complained that "he was supposed to pass three weeks before the vote. That way we could depend on last minute sympathy for us so we could win." Insiders at the Bush campaign worried that over the next three months that "people will forget where there sympathy should be placed," said one high placed campaign staffer. Another campaign worker countered that "maybe we could keep this in the news for a little more than three months... we should call Fox News and see." "I guess now we will have to go to plan B," said an obviously perterbed Rove. When asked by reporters what that meant, Rove chuckled and asked "Have you seen president Ford or Bob Dole lately? Neither one of them are looking so good right now."
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