Thursday, July 01, 2004

Saddam Courted by Media Given Saddam's new sleak figure, liberal hollywood and diet companies are actively pursuing the former Iraqi dictator for infomercials and as a pitchman for new exercise and diet plans. Saddam's business manager stated that Saddam (who has dropped the Hussein in an effort to revitalize his image with the younger generation of Iraqis by following the example of Fantasia Barrino the most recent American Idol winner) is an exciting and active property right now. "Hey, how many spokespersons have this level of instant consumer recognition? No one, Sarah Ferguson, Dr. Phil, who are these people? Everyone knows Saddam. He's got more charisma than Bush and Kerry rolled together." He added, "Everyone wants to know what Saddam is going to do next." Asked if it is true that Saddam was in talks to become the next Adkins diet spokesperson, Saddam noted that "we are in talks with all the big diet companies and several television and film companies. I am not opposed to a well written cable series on a network that will let me be me." He continued after taking drinking a wine spritzer that "Any show that I am involved with would have to be of high quality. I follow all the debates of the day and work them into our plots. But we would also have to represent good old fashioned dictator religious values. I want only to be involved with shows that capture my morality at the time." When pressed which companies were pursuing the Butcher of Baghdad, Saddam simply smiled and said "I have my options. Companies will rue the day they let me get away. We will crush the opposition with our advanced weapons and house to house fighting... I mean, ad campaigns." When asked if it is true that the Weinstein brothers were interested in working with Saddam on a controversial documentary, Saddam became quite animated. "Yes, yes, yes... its true. We believe that we can make a documentary 1,000 times better than that Michael Moore film. We have death, destruction, torture. All the big themes."
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