Thursday, June 17, 2004

Here's a Shocker, Peggy Can't Let Ronnie Go Nooners "Reagan Death Bukkake Dinner Theatre" is held over for yet another week. Peggy writes about what she saw at god knows which funeral ceremony (there were how many again?). You can just see from the tone that Reagan's "primo bitchcakes" is working on a new faith-based reality. Doing what she can to make sure that not only is a non-Catholic Beatified, but risen up so high that Heaven is getting all reorganized and Jeebus himself is going to be under St. Dutch's delegated authority. Let me just picture that concept for a moment, with appropriate skit based italics: I just hope that under this new arrangement, HOLY RON doesn't decide to have Jeebus fund the contras "Club for Growth" under the table from collected tithes because that is against canonical law. And when a lesser known, Muslim heaven publication exposes the scheme it will undoubtedly lead to hearings on the matter. When up against the legal system, Christ's record is a rather surprising 0 and 1, but still I have to think he makes an impressive witness and that could be politically harmful to Dutch. Then the Holy Gipper will have to face God all over again and explain "my blessed heart tells me I did not trade alms for souls, but eternal truth says otherwise...eternal truths are stupid things". OK, that is enough blasphemy. Back to the wackiness of Nooner. One of the primary items Peggy writes about is a dinner party where Reagan is remembered [IRONY?]. I have no doubt that at this dinner, a funky new style of eucharist was developed, one from which Kerry will also be prevented from partaking in. The hostess of the party is named BUFFY. Fucking BUFFY! You cannot get more Reagan-Era than a stinking rich old loon named BUFFY.
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