Friday, May 21, 2004

DeWine Office Delovely Lady of the Evening Following the urging of Republicans to make something of oneself through the entrepenurial spirit, one staffer of Wild and Crazy Ohio Senator Mike DeWine has supported herself via sexual enterprise at our nation's capital. Lets see... less than this fixated the Scarlet letter wavin' Prudicrats against President Clinton. Think of all the talk of stains on dresses, cigars, and my favorite... Altoids. So, I have to imagine that the sexual witchhunt will begin in earnest soon? Just consider some of the tidbits: The office of straight-laced Ohio Sen. Mike DeWine became the epicenter of salacious Capitol Hill gossip Wednesday, when it surfaced that an entry-level DeWine staffer apparently had been chronicling her steamy sex life on an Internet Web log, or "blog." The blog was removed from public view after another Washington blog, known as, linked to some of the racier passages from the DeWine employee's online diary. The passages detailed the woman's affairs with several men, purporting to include a married (but unnamed) chief-of-staff in a federal agency, and discussed being paid for sex. "Most of my living expenses are thankfully subsidized by a few generous older gentlemen," wrote the staffer, who identified herself as "The Washingtonienne." "I'm sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: how can anybody live on $25K/year??" No, we would never dream of asking you to work for such low pay. We would never expect you to consider public service. I mean, come on, we know that your expenses must be far greater than that. Maybe the problem is that repugnicrats are not capable of doing anything without considering the bottomline. Although maybe some of the young woman's clients would have been considered charity cases, I leave those conclusions to you alone dear readers. Hell think about Big Bettin' I-did-nothing-wrong-by-gambling-away-8 million dollars-pseudo-moralist Bill Bennett who once claimed that he had to decline a job because the +100,000 a year salary was like taking a vow of poverty. Just to jog your memory: Bennett's biggest accomplishment as drug czar was to increase the budget 52%. After 18 months he declared victory and resigned unexpectedly. He served briefly as chairman of the Republican National Committee, but quit the $125,000/year gig when it turned out that he couldn't pocket the speaking proceeds. "I didn't take a vow of poverty," Bennett said at the time. It seemed venal and gross, but now we understand. Although I am more interested in the book deal. What will we find out about DeWine and other repugnicrats? Is this the chat of the Internet? Excerpts from WONKETTE: The Lost Washingtonienne (WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, ETC., ETC.) OK, so we just spent a half an hour trying to keep all the initials in Washingtonienne's blog straight, just so that we could sub in other initials, on the off chance that she used real initials and the whole thing isn't some elaborate prank. Which it still could be. In any case, her blog may be erased from Blogspot, but we have the whole sordid Washingtonienne saga right here. (In backwards chronological order, blog-style.) It's actually pretty well done, and we repeat that we're serious about finding Washingtonienne an agent. On a less positive note, you can kind of tell the last entry is going to be the last. . . ---------- THE LOST WASHINGTONIENNE Tuesday, May 18, 2004 I just took a long lunch with X and made a quick $400. When I returned to the office, I heard that my boss was asking about my whereabouts. Loser. posted by The Washingtonienne at 2:10 PM ---------- YZ called last night. He had a visitor flying in from NYC who was stuck in a holding pattern over DC for an hour. (Who flies from NY to DC anymore? Take the train! Or the $10 Chinatown bus.) He was bored, so he picked me up and took me back to his house. His friend arrived around 11:30pm, and was exhausted from his hellish plan ride. So YZ and I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Warning: the following passage is extremely corny. Get ready to vom. So I get into bed and by then, it's midnight. "What time is it?" YZ asks. "Midnight," I reply. "Do you know what that means?" "" "That means it's your birthday." And he pulls out this pink and green package, and I just know it's a new Lilly dress. And it was. Then we fucked missionary. And he came. With a condom on. Then he was like, "Who the hell comes missionary anymore?!" Is that The Quote of the Day or what? posted by The Washingtonienne at 10:59 AM ---------- Can Kenneth Starr be far behind? Its only fair and balanced to do the same for the repugnicrats.
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by