Thursday, July 01, 2004

The New Evolution Social Darwinists and molecular bio-evolutionary researchers around the world celebrated the news that synthetic chemicals are likely altering human beings at a fantastic rate. At a WHO conference (WHO not The Who but I understand that Townsend's paper on child biochemistry was well received) in Budapest (don't all the best conferences go to Budapest?) scientists revealed that synthetic chemicals are transforming the human species. "We expect human beings to grow extra appendages in just a few years" stated one respected researcher. "Soon we will all have the extra help that we need when we try to hang pictures and stuff" added another esteemed scientist. A colleague continued the theme: "Now if we could only get more people to smoke, drink, and eat chemically and genetically altered food we would be able to progress down the ol' evolutionary path much faster. We are already able to grow little bunnies into those Donnie Darko rabbits. And that's progress!" Personally, I can't wait for gills.
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