Thursday, May 20, 2004

I'm Creating my Own Damn Award Since Sontag and Derbyshire are taken. No, I'm creating the special super duper special it will likely have only one regular recepient. The prestigious* THE ANDREW AWARD, nicknamed "The Milky Load". This weeks winner? Andrew Sullivan of course, for this little statement:
SONTAG AWARD NOMINEE: "Paul Wolfowitz kept crowing last summer about how the US saved the Marsh Arabs from Saddam, but now that many of them have joined the Sadrists in Kut and Amara, Wolfowitz is having the Marsh Arabs killed just as Saddam did, and for the same reasons." - Juan Cole, equating Paul Wolfowitz with Saddam Hussein, in an email to Mickey Kaus. Mickey finds this kind of rhetoric unsettling. I read Cole, because he obviously knows a lot. But his biases are so acute I don't trust him an inch. Anyone who can write that sentence has lost whatever moral bearings he once had.
Yes, we all know that from his fortified bunker on the East Coast no one knows more about Iraqi history and the crimes of one Saddam Hussein than a man who spent the 1990s gettin' all buff and auditioning for a Village People Tribute Band. And no one can extrapolate more vitriol out of factual statements than Sully the Silly, as the above demonstrates. I know that I'm not the man who put the final nail in the coffin of the fine magazine that once was the National Review, nor am I somebody who writes a column for the paper which serves as the political mouthpiece of a man who'd like to have me converted into a lampshade...but somebody has to create and give out meaningless awards. I hereby bestow upon the Hamlet of Conservatism, the Inaugural ANDREW AWARD and I hope he can use it to wave his freak flag high as he's walking his beagles.
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